A Wife’s Disobedience to Her Husband: Causes and Solutions

عصيان المرأة لزوجها… أسبابه… وعلاجه

A Wife’s Disobedience to Her Husband: Causes and Solutions

Translated by: Reza Ervani bin Asmanu

This article, “A Wife’s Disobedience to Her Husband: Causes and Solutions,” is included in the Islamic Questions and Answers Category

السؤال

Question:

زوجتي لا تطيعني مثلاً تخرج من غير علمي ودائما تطلب الطلاق؟

My wife does not obey me. For example, she goes out without my knowledge and constantly asks for divorce. What is the ruling on this?

الإجابــة

Answer:

الحمد لله، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله، وعلى آله وصحبه، أما بعد:

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and his Companions. To proceed:

فإن كان حال زوجتك على ما ذكرت من عدم طاعتها لك مع طلبها المتكرر للطلاق من غير سبب شرعي يقتضي ذلك، كسوء العشرة، أو انقطاع النفقة، فإنها بذلك تصير ناشزاً، وقد قال تعالى في حق الناشز:

If your wife’s situation is as you described — namely, that she does not obey you and repeatedly asks for divorce without a valid Islamic reason, such as mistreatment or the cessation of financial support — then she is considered nashiz. Allah Most High says concerning a nashiz wife:

﴿وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلاً إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيّاً كَبِيراً﴾ [النساء: ٣٤].

“As for those women whose nushuz you fear, admonish them, leave them in their beds, and strike them. Then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them. Indeed, Allah is Most High, Most Great.” (Surah an-Nisa’, verse 34)

فأبدأ مع زوجتك بما بدأ الله به، وهو الموعظة، وذلك بأن تذكرها بالله عز وجل، وما أوجب من طاعة الزوج في المعروف، ومن حرمة طلب المرأة الطلاق لغير سبب شرعي،

Begin with your wife in the manner that Allah Himself begins with, namely admonition. Remind her of Allah, Mighty and Majestic, of the obligation to obey her husband in matters that are ma’ruf, and of the prohibition against a woman asking for divorce without a valid Islamic reason.

ولا تنس أن تنظر في أوجه القصور منك تجاهها، ومبدأ الخلل نحوها فتصلحه، لعل الأمور تستقيم، فترجع عن نشوزها، فإن لم ترجع وتمادت في عصيانها فاهجرها في الفراش، فإن تمادت فاضربها في غير الوجه والمواضع المخوفة، ضرباً غير مبرح لا يكسر عظماً، ولا يشين جارحة،

Do not forget, however, to examine your own shortcomings toward her and identify any faults on your part, then correct them. Perhaps matters will improve and she will abandon her nushuz. If she does not change and persists in disobedience, then abstain from sharing the marital bed with her. If she continues, then the source permits striking her away from the face and dangerous parts of the body, in a non-severe manner that does not break bones or cause injury.

فهذه سبل الإصلاح في حق الزوجة الناشز الخارجة عن الطاعة، فإن لم تُجْدِ هذه السبل فآخر العلاج الكي، فلك أن تجيبها إلى طلبها الطلاق على أن تعيد لك ما دفعت لها من مهر أو بعضه، قال تعالى:

These are the means of reconciliation mentioned with regard to a nashiz wife who has departed from obedience. If these measures do not bring about improvement, then the final remedy is separation. You may agree to her request for divorce on the condition that she returns to you the dowry you gave her, or part of it. Allah Most High says:

﴿وَلا يَحِلُّ لَكُمْ أَنْ تَأْخُذُوا مِمَّا آتَيْتُمُوهُنَّ شَيْئاً إِلَّا أَنْ يَخَافَا أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ اللَّهِ فَلا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَا فِيمَا افْتَدَتْ بِهِ﴾ [البقرة: ٢٢٩].

“It is not lawful for you to take back anything of what you have given them unless both fear that they will not be able to maintain the limits of Allah. If you fear that they will not be able to maintain the limits of Allah, then there is no sin upon either of them concerning that by which she ransoms herself.” (Surah al-Baqarah, verse 229)

قال ابن العربي: فقيل (والله أعلم) أن تكون المرأة تكره الرجل حتى تخاف أن لا تقيم حدود الله بأداء ما يجب عليها له أو أكثره إليه. ويكون الزوج غير مانع لها ما يجب عليه أو أكثره، فإذا كان هذا حلت الفدية للزوج. اهـ محل الغرض منه.

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: “It has been said — and Allah knows best — that a woman may dislike her husband to such an extent that she fears she will not be able to observe the limits of Allah by fulfilling all or most of what she owes him, while the husband is not withholding all or most of what he owes her. If that is the case, then it is lawful for the husband to accept compensation from her.” End of the relevant quotation.

والله أعلم.

And Allah knows best.

Source: IslamWeb