Accepting a Wife’s Apology After She Makes a Mistake Is Part of Good Marital Conduct

من حسن العشرة أن يقبل الزوج اعتذار زوجته إذا أخطأت

Accepting a Wife’s Apology After She Makes a Mistake Is Part of Good Marital Conduct

Translated by: Reza Ervani bin Asmanu

This article, “Accepting a Wife’s Apology After She Makes a Mistake Is Part of Good Marital Conduct,” is included in the Islamic Questions and Answers Category

السؤال

Question:

أنا متزوجة وحدث بيني وبين زوجي خلاف نتيجة سوء فهم مني، ولكنه يظن أني متعمدة واعتذرت له ووضحت له أني لم أكن أفهم مقصده، ولكنه لم يقبل حتى أنه يرفض المجيء إلى البيت ويقيم في بيت آخر، ذهبت له فلم أجده وأتصل به بالهاتف فلا يزيده إلا نفوراً، فهل أنا ملعونة أو علي ذنب أفتوني بسرعة؟ الله يجزيكم الجنة.

I am married, and a disagreement occurred between my husband and me because of a misunderstanding on my part. However, he believes that I did it intentionally. I apologized to him and explained that I had not understood what he meant, but he refused to accept my apology. He even refuses to return home and is staying in another house. I went to look for him but did not find him, and when I call him by phone, it only seems to make him withdraw further. Am I cursed, or am I sinful because of this? Please answer quickly. May Allah reward you with Paradise.

الإجابــة

Answer:

الحمد لله، والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله، وعلى آله وصحبه، أما بعد:

All praise is due to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and his Companions. To proceed:

فما يفعله الزوج ينافي قول الله تعالى :

What the husband is doing is contrary to the statement of Allah Most High:

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَى أَن تَكْرَهُواْ شَيْئًا وَيَجْعَلَ اللّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًا كَثِيرًا {النساء:١٩}،

“Live with them in kindness. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike something while Allah has placed much good in it.” (Surah an-Nisa’, verse 19).

ويخالف قول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم:

It is also contrary to the saying of the Prophet ﷺ:

ولا يحل لمسلم أن يهجر أخاه فوق ثلاث. رواه البخاري ومسلم عن أنس بن مالك.

“It is not permissible for a Muslim to practice hajr toward his brother for more than three days.” (Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim from Anas ibn Malik)

وإذا كان هذا حقاً لأي مسلم، فالزوجة من باب أولى، فإن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم يقول:

If this is a right owed to any Muslim in general, then a wife is even more deserving of good treatment. The Prophet ﷺ said:

خيركم خيركم لأهله، وأنا خيركم لأهلي. رواه الترمذي وغيره عن عائشة رضي الله عنها.

“The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.” (Narrated by at-Tirmidhi and others from ‘Aishah, may Allah be pleased with her)

فعلى المسلم أن يقبل العذر ممن أخطأ في حقه، ونذكر هذا الزوج الممتنع من قبول العذر بقول النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم:

A Muslim should accept the excuse of someone who has wronged him. We therefore remind this husband, who refuses to accept the apology, of the saying of the Prophet ﷺ:

من اعتذر إليه أخوه بمعذرة فلم يقبلها كان عليه من الخطيئة مثل صاحب مكس.

“Whoever receives an apology from his brother but does not accept it bears a sin like that of an unjust tax collector.”

قال الإمام المنذري في الترغيب والترهيب: رواه أبو داود في المراسيل وابن ماجه بإسنادين جيدين إلا أنه قال كان عليه مثل خطيئة صاحب مكس. وقال البوصيري: رجال إسناده ثقات إلا أنه مرسل.

Imam al-Mundhiri said in at-Targhib wat-Tarhib: “It was narrated by Abu Dawud in al-Marasil and by Ibn Majah through two good chains of transmission, except that his wording is: ‘He bears a sin like the sin of an unjust tax collector.’” Al-Busiri said: “The narrators in its chain are trustworthy, although the report is mursal.”

وإذا صدقت أختي السائلة في توبتك، وبذلت جهدك في طلب رضا زوجك ولم يسامح فلا إثم عليك بل الإثم عليه.

If you, dear questioner, are sincere in your repentance and have done your best to seek your husband’s forgiveness, but he still refuses to forgive you, then there is no sin upon you; rather, the sin is upon him.

والله أعلم.

And Allah knows best.

Source: IslamWeb