Types of Husbands (Part One)
Translated by: Reza Ervani bin Asmanu
This article Types of Husbands is part of the Family Education category.
1. The Ideal Husband
يتشبه بالنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم الذي كان يرفق بالنساء ويقول :
The husband who emulates Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), who was gentle with women and said:
استوصوا بالنساء خيرًا ، فإن المرأة خُلقت من ضِلعٍ ، وإن أعوج ما في الضلع أعلاه : فإن ذهبت تقيمه كسرته ، وإن تركته لم يزل أعوج فاستوصوا بالنساء
“Treat women well, for a woman is created from a rib, and the most curved part of the rib is its uppermost part. If you try to straighten it, you will break it, but if you leave it, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly.” (Sahih Bukhari)
فيرحم ضعفها ، ويكرمها فإن في إكرامها إكرام لنفسه ، ويصبر على أذاها
This husband is compassionate toward his wife’s weaknesses, honors her because honoring her is akin to honoring himself, and is patient with the harm she may cause.
وإن كره منها خُلقًا رضي منها آخر ” رواه مسلم، ويعاملها بالإيثار .
“And if he dislikes one of her traits, he will be pleased with another of her traits.” (Narrated by Muslim). He treats his wife with selflessness (ithar).
ويقول صلى الله عليه وسلم : أكمل المؤمنين إيمانًا أحسنهم خلقًا ، وخياركم خيارك لنسائهم “رواه الترمذي”
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The most complete of the believers in faith is the one with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Narrated by Tirmidhi).
وهو يعلم أن الدنيا متاع وخير متاعها الزوجة الصالحة فيعينها على طاعة الله ويطلب قبل ذلك التزوج من المؤمنة الصادقة فإذا تزوجها وظفر بها عاملها بما يليق بها ، وهو مع ذلك يوجه ويرشد ، يأمر وينهى ، يربي ويعلم كمثل حال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ، وهو صاحب القوامة التي اكتسبها عن جدارة من استناده للشرع ، كما أنه صاحب الغيرة المحمودة الذي يبعد الفتنة وأسبابها من غير تخوين ولا اساءة ظن .
This husband understands that this world is an adornment, and the best adornment is a righteous wife. He helps her obey Allah and chooses to marry a believing and honest woman. After marrying her, he treats her in a manner befitting her dignity while also guiding and advising her, commanding and forbidding, nurturing, and teaching as the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) did. He holds authority (qiwamah) derived from Shariah and possesses praiseworthy jealousy, which prevents temptation and its causes without suspicion or ill will.
2. The Realistic Husband
يعطي زوجة حقها ويطلب حقه ونهذا لا لوم عليه لكن الأول أفضل وأكرم وعن معاوية ابن حيده رضي الله عنه قال :
A husband who fulfills his wife’s rights and requests his own rights. In this, he is blameless, but the ideal husband is better and more noble. From Mu’awiyah bin Haidah (may Allah be pleased with him), he said:
قلت يا رسول الله : ما حق زوجة احدانا عليه ؟ قال : أن تطعمها إذا طعمت ، وتكسوها إذا اكتسيت ولا تضرب الوجه ولا تقبح ولا تهجر إلا في البيت .
“I asked: O Messenger of Allah, what is the right of one of our wives upon us?” The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) replied: “That you feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe yourself, do not hit her face, do not insult her, and do not abandon her except inside the house.”
فهذا قد يضرب مثلا – بضوابط الشرع ولكنه لا يضرب الوجه ، والأول يصبر ويستوحي خيرًا ويظهر الفرق في الحديث عن إياس بن عبد الله بن أبي ذياب رضي الله عنه قال :
This husband might, for example, discipline within the bounds of Shariah but does not hit the face. The ideal husband, however, exercises patience, seeks good outcomes, and shows a clear difference in character. In a hadith narrated from Iyash bin Abdullah bin Abi Dhiyab (may Allah be pleased with him), it is stated:
قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : [لا تضربون إماء الله]
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Do not strike the female servants of Allah.”
فجاء عمر رضي الله عنه إلى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ، فقال : ذئرنَ النساءُ على أزواجهن ، فرخص في ضربهن ، فأطاف بآل رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم نساء كثير يشكون أزواجهن
Then Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) came to the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “Women have become emboldened toward their husbands.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) permitted them to discipline their wives. Later, many women came to the family of the Messenger of Allah complaining about their husbands.
فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم :
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) then said:
ولقد أطاف بآل بيت محمدٍ نساءٌ يشكون أزواجهن ليس أولئك بخياركم ، رواه أبو داود باسناد صحيح وذئرن : اجترئن . وفرق النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بين خيار الناس وغيرهم في هذا الأمر.
“Many women have come to the family of Muhammad complaining about their husbands. Those men are not the best among you.” (Narrated by Abu Dawud with a sound chain). The word “dzairna” in this hadith means “emboldened.” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) distinguished between the best of people and others in this matter.
3. The Suspicious Husband
ولا نقصد بها الغيرة المحمودة المنضبطة بضابط الشرع وانما نشير إلى ذلك الزوج الذي يخونن من غير بأس ويضيق على أهله من غير سبب حتى صار اسمه كذلك فيلهب جو المنزل بما لا ينبغي فالغيور الذي نذمه هو ذلك الأناني الذي لا يريد من المرأة أن تهتم إلا به فهو يغار حتى من أبنائه ، إذا دخل بيته فليسكت الجميع ولتتوجه الأنظار إليه .
What is meant here is not praiseworthy jealousy within the bounds of Shariah but rather excessive and unwarranted suspicion. This is the husband who mistrusts without reason and restricts his family unnecessarily, creating an oppressive atmosphere in the home. Such a husband is selfish, demanding that his wife focus solely on him. He even becomes jealous of his own children. When he enters the house, he expects silence, and all attention must be directed toward him.
وهو لا يتورع عن تتبع عورة امرأته وإساءة الظن بها وتجسس بواطنها وقد نهى رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم أن تتبع عورات النساء في رواية أن تبغت النساء ولما قدم رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم من سفره قبل دخول المدينة قال : لا تطرقوا النساء ليلاً .
He does not hesitate to seek out his wife’s faults, harbor suspicion against her, and spy on her private matters. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) forbade uncovering the faults of women. It is narrated that he forbade people from surprising their wives suddenly. When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) returned from a journey before entering Madinah, he said, “Do not surprise your wives at night.”
وفي رواية حتى تستمد المغيبة وتمتشط الشعثة –
In another narration, “until the absent wife can prepare herself and the untidy woman can groom herself.”
مخالفة رجلان مسبقًا فرأى كل واحد في منزله ما يكره .
There were two men who ignored this advice previously, and each one saw something they disliked in their own homes.
وضابط الأمر حديث رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم :
The rule related to this matter is explained by the hadith of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him):
إن من الغيرة غيرةً يبغضها الله عز وجل وهي غيرة الرجل على أهله من غير ريبة “رواه مسلم”
“Among jealousy, there is a type that Allah dislikes, and it is the jealousy of a man toward his wife without any suspicion.” (Narrated by Muslim).
أما الغيرة المحمودة ، فتكون في البعد عن مواطن الريبة وتكون في عدم رضا الزوج عن التبرج والاختلاط والتكشف ومنع أهله من ذلك وتكون في حراسة بيته من المنكرات التي تعج بها وسائل الاعلام .
As for praiseworthy jealousy, it involves staying away from situations that lead to doubts. It includes the husband’s displeasure with his wife’s adornment, mixing with others, and uncovering her awrah. It is also about preventing his family from such actions and guarding his home from immoralities often promoted by the media.
To be continued in the next part, Insha Allah
Source : IslamWeb
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